Sugar

Hot creamy chocolate milk: it can be flavored with cinnamon, orange, raspberry, french vanilla, candy canes: any pick is a winner.  Especially when you can make it with milk and it is warm, and the flavor bursts on your tongue, and warms you up from the inside out. 
Add a donut, (or even better pan dulce), and it is the perfect winter treat.

Then you have the classic, never-go-out-of-style-even-if-you-are-freezing-to-death-treat.  (I'm referring to ice cream).  Creamy rich flavored goodness, sometimes filled with yummy surprises like chunks of chocolate peanut butter cups, or swirls of cookie dough/pie crust. Yum.

There are delicious cakes with rich chocolate mouse fillings, warm pies, cheese cakes, eclairs, cream filled donuts, cinnamon rolls.  There are heath bars, starbursts, skittles, rich foreign chocolate bars. The list goes on and on.

And suddenly the door closes.  Your doctor looks at you and tells you that your disease means that you can have no sugar whatsoever, EVER.  (Unless you want to hurt inside). And as you walk away in a daze you hear him call out "Don't forget! NO MORE HAPPINESS!"

At least, that is what it felt like.  Candida is an immune system disease, and pretty difficult to get rid of.  It is furthered/worsened by stress and by sugar (and white flour, rice, processed foods, ect).  It begins when your body's system of good bacteria (the stuff that your system uses to digest food and things) is de-balanced or wiped out. (Mine came because of an anti-biotic).    The only cure is to eat a strict diet of veggies, whole grains, unprocessed meats, and less-sugary fruit until your body has re-balanced itself.  Which may not seem so bad, but every time you give in and eat sugar (which your body screams for) you start over. Yeah.

So all these do-gooders who decide to share/offer goodies out of the kindness of your heart, you're killing me! Not literally, but it is funny how short my self control is.  I mean, when I'm feeling the pain, its pretty easy to say no. But if I've been good for several days, then I'm not hurting, and someone walks around offering gooey warm chocolate chip cookies and my short-sided (or forgetful) brain thinks hmmmm, i've been so good, just one wouldn't hurt..... And then I'm sick again. In fact, I've decided that the AA advice to stay away from others who have your same addiction is sound for that reason.  But I have a problem, we live in America. What am I supposed to do? Move to a poor village in China? I may have to!  I challenge the reader to look at the ingredients labels of things you eat, and I'd be willing to bet quite a lot that you never realized that sugar is in EVERYTHING!  I'm not kidding.  Cheese crackers, breads, lunch meat, chips...

The good news to this story is that now I must eat healthy by force.  So I suppose (if I can stop cheating) I could be an experiment to see if sugar is the cause of other diseases such as cancer, Alzheimers, ect.  Because I wouldn't be surprised!

Another good bit to this story is my amazing husband Tanner. When he found out that I had this disease (back when we were first dating) he said "hmm, I'll live the diet too."  And he has!  Can you believe it?  I can't think of a better husband out there.  Such a great man. 

But anyway, the next time you walk down the street and see something delicious (probably sugary). Think of me.  Maybe even take a bite in my behalf. :)

Eternity

Eternity.

The other day I sat in the peace of a beautiful white room and I realized what this means for me and for Tanner.  I'll just tell you what I imagined.

Picture your husband being called to work into a different country for a time.  The call comes unexpectedly and you and your spouse scramble to get him ready in time.  The day comes too fast and as he kisses you goodbye he promises to send for you.  The time it takes to join him and get your own things ready, like the passport, seems to last forever.  When you finally land in the airport you are so relieved that your separation is over.  Until you step off the plane.  As you approach your husband, the authorities stop you.  "You cannot be with him" they tell you. WHAT?! We are married! What do you mean I can't be with him? "Your marriage certificate does not count here," the men reply as they take you away, "I'm sorry but you are not allowed to be with this man."

Then picture if you have children.  As you are being taken away they take the toddler from your hand and the baby from your arms.  What are you doing?! "Your children are no longer yours here, you can't have them here. You can't be with them anymore." 

Can you imagine watching your baby being carried away and not having her anymore? Can you see the little toddler looking at you not sure what is going on as you are all carried in different directions? How long would you have to wait for the legal processes? What if no one would listen?

This is what I thought of while I sat in the temple.  We all die, and it is like crossing into that country where you cannot return.  What a tragedy for families to be divided after all the time and love they spend here!  What if your child dies suddenly? What if a spouse is killed in an accident? If you have been married "until death do you part" then that is the end.  He or she is no longer yours.

Of all the kind things the Lord has done for us, allowing us to be with our families forever is the greatest gift.  He has the power and ability to keep us together forever, even through death, and all we have to do is obtain his "passport" and then maintain our end of the deal.  And then, of course, we have the opportunity to go and free other families.  Can we really imagine the celebration that we ignite when we attend the temple and do work for the dead? How long has that mother waited to hold her child's hand again?  How long has that couple waited to hold each other? 

For those who haven't been married in the temple, GET THERE! I'm serious.  The peace you feel is indescribable, and there is NOTHING on this earth worth missing this opportunity.  For those who have already gone through, free the families! 

Let 's create as many "Family Reunions" as we can, for them.

Welcome

Having been deeply inspired by amazing friends (such as Becky, who writes blogs where I am laughing out loud), by the call to speak out about what I believe by church leaders, and simply wanting to stay in better contact with myself and friends,  I decided it would be fun to make my own blog, or more correctly, one for both Tanner and I together.  If I were to have my wish, this blog would inspire those who need inspiring, lift those who are down, help those having a bad day laugh, and help me at least have an online journalish thing.

So to you, my reader, I say welcome! Welcome to my new world of being married to an amazing, fire-loving, thoughtful, adorably freckled fireman.  It is a world of a usually school-loving straight backed girl who suddenly has begun to long for school-free days, a pretty home to invite people to enjoy with me, puppies and children, and who is trying to learn how to let her hair down.  It is the world where a chocoholic has been denied sugar and is trying to find meaning in life that doesn't involve delicious treats.  And it is a world where an imperfect girl, is striving to become the best she can be.

Welcome to all readers, with great hopes that some thing here may change your life for the better! Or at least help you giggle.